Friday, April 16, 2010

A time of growth

The last few months have been insane. Hectic, wild, wonderful, horrible…overall a bittersweet learning experience that continues every second of every day. I’ve made a lot of decisions and continue to live in a state of flux.

 This state of confusion, flux, transition and learning has brought me back to Chicago six months after I left. Under-employed and frustrated with my mother after only a week of staying with her while I get back on my feet, I feel I am the wiser for the decisions I have made and the events of the past six months.

Photo courtesy of jpctalbot via

Living in Putnam was a wonderful experience and I am already missing the starry sky, abundance of deer, and horse farm. However, I have learned the hard way that I am not cut out for the idyllic country life, if it means living alone. With Morgana’s broken leg, Merlin’s old age (he’s now 13), and Eric being in New Orleans, I found myself incredibly isolated, with too much responsibility and too many commitments. Too many bills, not enough friends. Too many hours at work because I had nothing else to do. I spent a lot of time joking that 2010 was the worst year ever. After all I had been (badly) bitten by a dog on New Year’s Eve, Morgana broke her leg in January, and it only seemed to go downhill from there. But, it was a heavy realization to comprehend that it would stay this way until I changed something. Armed with the William Blake line from “The Marriage of Heaven and Hell” I kept in mind that “he who desires but acts not, breeds pestilence,” and gave my notice, packed up, and moved back to the city to seek new employment, eat new food, and drink new beer.

  I am glad to be back. I did downsize drastically, and now find myself in a state of rebirth. It’s spring, after all. Spring is a time for the new and the exciting. I am a wiser person, whatever that means. And I feel a sense of true excitement in a way I haven’t felt for a while.  I’ve already found a great knitting group, reconnected with some old friends, and started a joint blog with Eric that I think will motivate me to new knowledge and make me get out more.

                Spring has sprung, and I’m on my way up!

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